Health// It’s Not ‘Just Womxn’s Stuff’ - The Trauma of Being Dismissed.
By Sophie Seger
5 September 2020
Medical trauma is something that affects countless people – it can occur when we experience something deeply traumatic within the medical system. For womxn this experience often differs to that of men. Both are valid and important to look at; however, I will be focussing on my own reality as a womxn and highlighting serious issues surrounding this shared experience.
I was 19 when I woke up in agony, a day that I did not realise at the time would be such a turning-point in my life. From that day onwards I have been unwell – some days better than others, but I have a chronic illness called endometriosis (endo) and for me that looks like being in pain most days. Before I became ill I had no strong views on the medical system – whenever I had been in hospital for various injuries I had never experienced any form of dismissal or neglect. I feel it is therefore important for me to explain to those who don’t know – just as I once did not – how womxn’s issues frequently get treated, or more to the point, mistreated.
At this stage, I would like to make clear that this is in no way a reflection of everyone in the medical industry. On my journey I have met some incredible nurses, doctors and surgeons, some of them real guardian angels, this is simply me raising awareness for an issue that affects us womxn world-wide and traumatises so many.
There are several conditions that are related to a womxn’s reproductive system – Endometriosis, PCOS, Adenomyosis and many more. The dismissive and ignorant attitude that is experienced with such conditions has its roots in early life. As young girls we are taught to hide our pads when we need to get one out of our bags at school, we are told not to talk about it too loud in case the boys hear, we are taught that periods are something to be embarrassed about. Here lies the issue, yes we have come so far with womxn’s rights and crushing stereotypes, but we still have so far to go – for both men and womxn.
Fast forward to me age 19, I suffered from agonising pelvic pain with bleeding – a pain that I had never experienced before and left me crumpled up on the floor gasping for breath. Eventually – after going back and forth to doctors appointments – an ambulance had to be called and what I experienced next would affect me to this day. Once I arrived in the hospital I had doctors telling me there was no reason for my pain, I was not taken seriously and I heard the nurses talking about me in an incredibly dismissive manner. I was a 19 year old girl who was terrified and in pain and they did not care for me in the appropriate way. Again, a few weeks later I had to go to the doctors as the pain persisted, and the first thing the doctor said when I walked in the room in obvious agony was “you haven’t done your eyebrows well today have you”. As if such a remark would ever be acceptable. She then went on to suggest to me that my pain was simply due to exam stress and all I needed was to “just go home and put your feet up” because “it can’t be that bad”. Other A&E doctors both pre- and post-diagnosis have told me it’s just a period and it took me over a year to get the correct diagnosis. Let me put this into perspective for you, the average length of time it takes to diagnose endometriosis is 7.5 years. That’s 7.5 years of unimaginable suffering – many womxn who have had kids and have endo, say endo pain is worse than labour contractions. It’s more than just pain, it is years of psychological torment, relationships being impacted, struggling with working or going to school, deteriorating mental health and many other issues.
Endometriosis is not a bad period; it is when tissue similar to the lining of the womb forms in other places. It causes internal bleeding, lesions that can fuse our organs together and infertility just to name some of the consequences (Endometriosis UK). It has been found all over the body – on the bladder and bowel, on the brain, the heart, the eyes. It is linked to the menstrual cycle, but it definitely is not a bad period.
Womxn are so frequently dismissed in medical settings – by both men and womxn and this seems to be because of a stereotype that womxn are dramatic and cannot handle a bit of pain. This leads to the unnecessary suffering of millions of womxn across the globe and has real long-term effects.
In my case, the constant dismissal and doctors telling me ‘there’s nothing wrong’ with me and ‘it’s in my head’ fuelled my pre-existing anxiety. They convinced me that I could not trust my body and I was sub-consciously exaggerating my pain. They made me feel unbelievably low at such a horrific time in my life when what I needed more than anything was support and understanding. I now have a real fear of meeting new doctors and going to the GP. Every time I come across someone new, I feel sick to my core and prepare what I am going to say to convince them of how much I suffer. Sometimes they turn out to be lovely people who go above and beyond to care for me and other times they are not so good and try to pin everything on my mental health.
I suffer from extreme chronic pain, nausea, episodes of dizziness and feeling faint, bowel and bladder issues and chronic fatigue. I have had three surgeries in the space of a year. So many other womxn suffer too and they are being told there is nothing wrong with them. I get womxn who message me all of the time saying they thought their pain was normal or that they are too scared to go to a GP for help in case they laugh them out of the room. I wish I could tell them that a medical professional would never do such a thing, but I cannot. All I can say is to believe in yourself, if you think something is wrong then it probably is and extreme pain is not normal. I tell them not to give up, even if they get dismissed and hold on to those doctors who listen. One day I’d like to tell them don’t worry, no medical professional would ever do such a thing.
Sophie is currently studying psychology with criminology. She is going into her final year and she says, 'I have absolutely no clue where life is going to take me after that'. Sophie lives in England but was born in Germany and is half German. Writing and working out are two things that she loves to do ('although', she says, 'given my illness I can’t exercise as much as I used to'). Sophie says, 'my Instagram page brings me so much joy and love, I have met some incredible people through social media and feel very blessed!'
@sophs_endo