Health// Sex Education is Failing.

By Ruth Wormington
29 August 2020

Thinking back to sex education at school, I think we can all agree that it was universally poor. But I want to examine exactly what it was that we were missing. There are three key things that really stand out to me, which absolutely boil my blood because I can see blatant repercussions of these simple omissions from my education across my life. Not receiving sex education around what a healthy relationship is landed me in a toxic one for three whole years. Not learning about female sexuality led me to believe that masturbation was dirty long after I had first had sex. Not learning about LGBTQ+ sex education reinforced my own internalised beliefs towards my bisexuality, meaning I wasn’t able to acknowledge my attraction to other genders until I reached university, and another 2 years before I could tell my parents. Even now I am stigmatised for my own sexuality, both in terms of ‘preference’ and actions.

It is obscene how much I have been impacted, from sexual assault and identity suppression, manipulation and shaming. And yet most could be avoided through the implementation of a more adequate school-based education. The lack of appropriate teaching has led to the schools actively adding to the hierarchical order of society, resulting in the suppression of marginalised groups. 

Why is it so insufficient? 

In my dissertation for university, I examined the development of sex education policy. I learnt this policy was first implemented as a result of a generalised feeling of panic and lack of knowledge, as a result of the 1980s HIV epidemic. This is because, as I am sure you are aware, gay men were used as a scapegoat for its spread (something we should be wary of in the scapegoating of BAME individuals in the COVID-19 pandemic). This means that not only did sex education largely take a preventative approach (we have all seen that iconic Mean Girls scene), it was also legitimising institutional homophobia. Rather than teaching how to avoid HIV, children were taught to avoid sex - a narrative I am sure many readers are familiar with from their school days. In fact, the first ever official sex education policy (released in 2000) states that the promotion of sexual orientation or sexual activity would be inappropriate. Therefore, students receive subliminal homophobic messaging in schools, that reflects the perspective of policy, without any active discrimination occurring by the teachers themselves.

Surely this is a wider societal issue then?

This subliminal messaging is a result of heteronormativity, a concept that essentially describes the way our society is designed to cater to heterosexual individuals. It exists in conjunction with the patriarchy and its gender rules. As an LGBTQ+ young person, spending your formative years in a heteronormative environment can have a negative impact on every system of your existence: sense of self, parents and friendships, perceived societal values. 

What about other marginalised groups?

In addition to the more obvious dangers of schools perpetuating heteronormative values, there are further dangers that lurk beneath the surface. By teaching girls abstinence and purity, and educating boys on the bravado of wanking and wet dreams, young people develop ideas around sexuality and gender which can be really harmful. We know that when girls are not seen as sexual, autonomous beings; they are often labelled in derogatory ways if they pursue sexual activities (let’s reclaim ‘hoe’, girls). But further than this, if girls are made to seem sexually passive, boys may be led to believe that sex is their right as men. This is perpetuated by teachers banning ‘provocative’ clothing which gives the impression that girls’ sexuality should be controlled. Thus, creating blurred lines around consent at an educational level. We should be taught about healthy relationships and how to say no. For me, I know that my rights as a woman had to be self taught, and often as the result of learning from negative experiences, which I am still susceptible to.

But are times changing? 

You may be aware that a new sex and relationship education policy was implemented in 2019. This policy includes LGBTQ+ education, which led to protests outside school gates. Even this education is inadequate, however, problematically giving parents the right to opt their child out of LGBTQ+ education until the age of 16: an age at which a lot of young people have already started having sex. This is an example of institutional harm, and the fact the new policy allows this shows we still have a long way to go.

So next time you get involved in a movement, hear sexist language, read an article or petition, let’s strive to ED-U-CATE on the raw importance of the idea that no means no, women can be sexual and heteronormativity is toxic.

SEE: https://www.pshe-association.org.uk 

Ru identifies proudly as a bisexual woman. She is a 23 year old recent Childhood Studies Graduate from Bristol University, and is about to start a Masters in Social Work. She is based in Bristol, and in her spare time she can be found attempting to teach herself to sew, dancing or (in her words) arguing with your sexist uncle. She also runs an art instagram (@badgrl.ruru) with the aim to promote female body empowerment and destigmatize womxn's sexuality expression.